I have evidence that most members of Team Perfect did not watch the webcast of Michael Thornton at the Pritzker Military Library last night, so I unfriended everybody. That’s right. To all my ex-friends, I just want to say, after careful consideration I have decided to re-friend all of you on Facebook, where Perfect Fitness has a new site that is HOT HOT HOT.

Unfriend is a verb, by the way. Bill O’Reilly called it a noun. Negative. Verb. Trust me.

You’d have to be a fool to unfriend… Continue

Warning: This blog post contains R-rated material regarding fatness and guilt vis a vis pumpkin pie and turkey dressing. While it is true that cranberry sauce is basically harmless – you can eat boatloads of it with no appreciable effect – that is not the point here. The point is to make a warning.

Teammates, why do people gorge themselves? Security? Neurosis? Domestic problems? Yes, of course. All of these reasons. But scientists are still trying to figure it out. You eat the turkey. Yo… Continue

Moments ago, from our friends at the Associated Propagandists, I mean Press:

ATLANTA (AP) — Kellogg says there will be a nationwide shortage of its popular Eggo frozen waffles until next summer because of interruptions in production at two of the four plants that make them.
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DO NOT PANIC. Just eat the large bowl of high-fiber cereal like I said a few weeks ago. Everything will ... okay I was going to say "everything will come out okay" but that is extremely gross and I… Continue